Mischief
(September 24, 2008)
It's
nearly the end of September. I meant to post this entry
a week ago, but events have conspired against me - an
out of town conference, followed by two very
busy weeks at work. So please ignore the
date, and pretend that this entry went up in the middle
of September; a little over a month since the last one.
When last we left our hero,
Theron was continuing to grow and learn. He still is.
This is surprisingly fun to
watch.
Language use is still
increasing. A week or so back I sneezed, and he
immediately said, "Bless you." This took me completely
by surprise; I had no idea that he knew how (or when) to
say that. I suspect his grandmother taught it to him,
but I don't really know; he might have picked it up at
his Mother's Day Out program, too. He's completely
consistent about it, though. Someone sneezes, he says
"bless you", and we say "thank you". Sometimes he even
reverses the pattern, pretending to sneeze. We say,
"bless you," and he says, "Thank you."
Also, he now asks rhetorical
questions. "Where is _______?" actually means "I have
hidden {the washcloth, or the monkey, or the
caterpillar, or whatever} and I want you to look for
it." Sometimes he plays both sides of this game: he will
hide something, ask where it is, then find it himself
and say: "There it is." He is also capable of saying
"There you are"; he demonstrated that one for me in the
McDonald's playground a couple of weeks ago.
He runs, climbs, and jumps with
great abandon. I spent most of the last week out of
town, at a work-related conference; Theron celebrated my
return by jumping on me... repeatedly. One
of his better tricks is to climb up on my back or
stomach, balance carefully on top of me, and then jump
up and come down on his knees. I'm not sure whether or
not I should discourage this. On the one hand, I'm not
sure I can survive it if he gets much heavier, and he's
getting heavier every day. On the other hand, if I stop
him I might deprive him of a happy (and lucrative)
career as a professional wrestler.
More conversation
His speech is probably the biggest development for
this month. He's starting to use it for all sorts of
things, though his enunciation and parts of his
pronunciation still need serious work. (For example, the
long, slightly curved fruit with the yellow peel is
currently pronounced "muh-nah-nuh".) Still, if you're
the sort of person who takes a creative approach to how
consonants should sound, he's pretty easy to understand.
For example:
- He can ask us to put
Charlotte's Web in the DVD player. ("Mommy?
Pig-Spider.")
- He can ask me to clean the
woodchips or pebbles out of his sandal when he's
playing at the park. ("Daddy? Yucky shoe.") He even
holds his foot up to help.
- While we were waiting for
his grandmother to come over for dinner after a week
out of town, he asked where she was. ("Where is
Nana?")
- He can order us around and
tell us where he wants us. ("Daddy, right here.")
- And, of course, he can ask
for food. ("Mommy? Assah dah-duh milk and cookies?")
- And, of course, he can say
"Cowboy" while riding his little wooden rocking
horse.

"Cowboy!"
Children exist to deprive
parents of sleep
A week or so back, I came home to find the house
empty. Theron was spending the afternoon at another
child's house, and the Beautiful Woman* evidently hadn't
picked him up yet. Since I had no good way of getting in
touch with them, I decided that there was really only
one sensible way to respond to the situation. Five
minutes later I was sitting in a hot bath.
Ten minutes after that, I was
in serious danger of falling asleep in the bathtub. So I
got out, left a note on the note-leaving board, and went
to bed. The note said, basically, "Wake me up when it's
time to help put the Boobelly to bed."
So, naturally, my wife came
home with our son, found me sleeping in the bedroom, and
promptly turned Theron loose on me. She says she didn't
see the note. I think she's out to get me.
Theron was, of course,
delighted to find Daddy sleeping in bed. First he walked
across me. Then he stole my pillow and tossed it off the
side of the bed. Then he started peeling the covers off
me. Then, when I grabbed another pillow, he pulled that
pillow out from under my head and smacked me in the legs
with it.
After that, he jumped on me for
a few minutes.
I ignored this abuse, in the
hope that if I was boring he might go away. Sure enough,
once he'd finished realigning my spinal column, he
hopped off the bed.
He was gone for less than a
minute. It was just long enough to run into the kitchen,
find the drawer that his mother had opened, and steal a
pair of steel lids. Then he raced back into the bedroom,
came around to my side of the bed, and proceeded to
clang the lids together like cymbals. Repeatedly.
He even managed a dextrous double-clang, by hitting them
in front and then behind his back.
After that, he climbed back
onto the bed -- with the lids -- and
proceeded to clang them together while jumping on
my back.
Daddy... was not going back to
sleep.
Not if he had anything to say
about it.
...And more sleep
deprivation
Theron also appears to be
getting another tooth. It's a molar, which means that
its arrival is slow and painful. While the Podling
doesn't really get grumpy about it, it's
done bad things to his sleep schedule, and to the
contents of his diapers. It has also left him wanting to
spend much more time with his mother... and, in a
brilliant piece of synchronicity, wanting to sleep on
the gymnastics mat on the floor of his room, with
his mother.
This is bad, for at least two
reasons. First, he doesn't want to sleep in the Big Boy
Bed. I like having him sleep in the Big
Boy Bed; I feel like he's much less likely to start
roaming the house at night if he's sleeping in there.
Second, he wants the Beautiful Woman to sleep with him,
or at least comfort him while he makes excuses to keep
himself awake. As a result, I'm likely to be on
Getting-The-Child-To-Sleep duty for the forseeable
future. The fact that he also tends to wake up in the
middle of the night and not go back to sleep is really just a bonus.
So we're back to medicating the
child at odd hours of the night, and trying to get our
sleep where we can. Which, in my case, often includes
the couch.
With Nana** out of town, I was
responsible for taking the Podling to his mother's day
out program. My wife was teaching, and had to leave
fairly early (six-thirty or so) to get there on time. I
had already put in for some time off, so I could come in
late to work without creating any problems. It was a
pretty good plan, really.
Theron, of course, promptly
woke up at four-thirty in the morning. So, when the
Beautiful Woman was getting ready to leave, she roused
me and sent to the living room to nap on the couch while
Theron watched Elmo. This is somewhat tricky; it's hard
to keep an eye on anything while you're
asleep; it's also hard to sleep when there's a
two-year-old using you for a trampoline. On top of that,
being half-asleep while Elmo is on the television is a
good formula for some really weird dreams.
When my alarm first went off, I
looked up and saw that Theron was laying on the
fireplace with his head resting on the arm of the Ugly
Pink Chair***. I reset the alarm and went back to sleep,
thinking all was well.
When it went off again, half an
hour later, Theron was gone. I checked the kitchen and
didn't see him; checked his bedroom; checked our
bedroom... About then, my brain caught up with me, and I
went back into the living room. Sure enough, I'd walked
right past him on my way out: he was sleeping,
face-down, on the hearth (which is padded for safety
reasons). The arm of the chair had blocked my view of
him.
This actually worked out pretty
well, because he basically too dazed to protest when I
dropped him off.
Proof of clinical insanity:
Despite all this, we still want to have another child.
We don't really care if it's a
boy or a girl (...as long as it's one or the other). But
I caught Theron carrying around a bowl of cat food
tonight, and (after I took it away) eating some of the
pieces he had dropped. It's entirely possible that he
thinks he's one of the cats, and with luck having a
sibling would help clear up the confusion.
And now, the usual monthly
allotment of pictures and video.
Click on the images below for larger pictures or
video links...
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Climbing |
Painting |
Resting |
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In
The Cockpit! |
Investigating Gravity
(with a small rock and
a tire swing) |
When Elves go
bad... |
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Everything below is a
link to a video. Most of them make noise, so
if you're at work, be warned! |
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Balancing, Jumping |
Climbing the Spiral Ladder |
Sneezing! |
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Navigating the Netting |
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Theron vs. Tire Swing |
* My wife and the Podling's mother, for anyone who's
forgotten.
** My wife's mother and the boy's grandmother.
*** Which has been with us since about the time he was
born, and in which he did a considerable amount of
sleeping as a baby.
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